Saturday, June 8, 2013
By: Roy MacMillan
This was translated from modern Caveman to contemporary English. You're welcome.
Bill Cunningham may be a nice guy, but I don't like him. He literally rides around on a bicycle and takes pictures all day and moves them around on a computer screen at night. If I had to guess, he does this every night. Did someone forget to tell him they forced him into retirement twelve years ago? He doesn't cash his paychecks and won't accept a free fish dinner at charity events. If you can't go out and eat more than a sausage biscuit or a TV dinner, then do you really deserve a 400 square foot apartment with a common bathroom in Carnegie Hall? I hope they threw the old ninnyhammer out with the bath water.
Because I auditioned for a reality TV show recently, it angers me that he cannot answer questions about himself. You have to be interesting, and you must play to win. Plus, you cater to the ultra rich. These are the same (blasphemous comment about God) people that drive me crazy with their unrealistic demands at my job. This is not the recipe for a great film. I'm going to go out and beat up some homeless people now.
Technical: Morgan Freeman would've made it profitable, but he couldn't make it less boring.
Will This Movie end up in my collection? Not even if someone delivered me a working Enterprise and unlimited consent from Uhura and Carol for threesomes.