Saturday, June 1, 2013
Steve Note - No trailer posted because no one should watch this!
by: Ryan Grudinski
If I were to make a list of my least favorite movies of 2012 before I saw this one, That's My Boy would be at the top of that list. Now that I have seen this, That's My Boy would honestly be pushed to #2. Struck By Lightning was written by its star, Chris Colfer when he was a teenager. It shows. This is less a film and more a writer (character) being a dick to every different "type" of person that he hates and never having to learn his lesson. Basically it's Colfer's world and if you don't agree with him, share his views, share his passions, share his beliefs, or want to do with your life what he does with his, then you can go to hell... Except hell doesn't exist, because he said so in the movie. One quote that really stuck out to me was when the main character was complaining about getting a mediocre grade on his paper about Creationism vs. Evolution when the character says something along the lines of: "How could I get a bad grade for defending my stance on evolution, I said Evolution is proven by the fact that I have evolved to the point where I no longer want to throw things at people who believe in creationism." Okay... Here's the thing. I'm an atheist. I believe in evolution. I do not believe in creationism. That's not the point here. The point is that the film basically preaches that intolerance of ANYONE is okay, unless they are what Carson Phillips is. If you are exactly like Carson Phillips in every way, then you're cool. But if you're not, if you're a jock, stoner, cheerleader, burnout, or whatever other high school cliché archetype you may be then you're worthless and you don't deserve to walk the same earth that the great Carson Phillips does. Other than being completely intolerant of anybody and everybody who is not like him, Carson's major villainous action in the film is to dig up dirt on all of them, and blackmail them into writing for a magazine that HE is passionate about. Note, they do NOT share the same passion with him. Never once does he learn that blackmailing other kids into doing what you want them to do is wrong. Now don't get me wrong, dick characters can work and have proven to make great stories. The difference is that in order for them to work there must be an arch where the character learns something, or matures in some way, or, in the rare example of someone like a Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood, the character has to be interesting enough for you to want to watch him be a dick throughout the story. Carson Phillips is neither. He is a hollow, vapid, poorly fleshed out character with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and he learns nothing, much like this film. On top of the huge problems with the overall narrative and character arch, most of the writing is simply clunky, and poor. There's a scene where Carson receives a call from his father, whom the film has led us to believe he has not seen nor heard from since he left his mother years ago on his cell phone. Carson looks at his phone and says "It's my dad." in the most casual ho-hum voice you'll ever hear. Yeah, he may hate the guy for leaving, but for God's sake, EMOTE! If I hated my dad and he called me out of the blue for the first time in years, It would likely affect me deeply, much like most human beings. Maybe Carson is just better than me... after all, that is the general theme of the movie. Finally, Great actors like Allison Janney and Dermot Mulroney are absolutely wasted in this, and they both deserve much better. Colfer plays his character on Glee well, and he really should just stick to acting, because this script, and subsequently this film are painfully bad.
Acting: * 1/2
Direction: * 1/2
Technical: It looks like a made for TV movie, or a straight to video movie. Nothing really great technically to speak of.
Will This Movie end up in my collection? Not if you paid me.